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[Jul // 11 // 04 @ 02:33am]
WWW.PUREVOLUME.COM/LIGHTMOMENTS

Go.
undo my zipper

[Jul // 06 // 04 @ 01:37am]
Thankyou for making my night.


Tonight I went over Alexa's.
I missed my girls.
Jillian Linds Cay V and of COURSE Alexa.
I love you all very much.


I miss Chelsea already.

I miss Dana too!

This weekend was pretty much spent with Chelsea. I love that girl.


Yea yeayeayea....
Short entry.
But at least I updated.
4 used lips x undo my zipper

[Jun // 25 // 04 @ 05:30pm]
I have made a decision. I am going to go on a road trip to Kentucky, and then to Texas. I am not waiting to make this happen, I'm leaving tonight at midnight after I bid my friends farewell at the Wings of Azrael Dance. So I just wanted to tell you readers goodbye, because I won't talk to you until Thursday. (Wednesday I will be home, but I'll be leaving to go see Dashboard with all of my girls.) I am super excited. I really need a road trip to just take pictures and get away from this western pennsylvania drama. I love you all. Yes, all of you.


When I return, I can assure you that the part of my heart that is reaching for you will only be pushing you away.


=)
Adios.
5 used lips x undo my zipper

[Jun // 22 // 04 @ 03:32am]
I've come a long, long way from the way I was that day and I wonder: was I ever right?
It's been a year today since you took my heart away.
And I wonder: why didn't I fight?
1 used lips x undo my zipper

[Jun // 15 // 04 @ 04:19pm]
[ mood | energetic ]
[ music | Papa Don't Preach ]

This update is for Alexa Santori.

I went and saw After Drama, Isadora, and A Week In July last night.
I love Isadora.
I want to sex up the lead singer of After Drama... hahaha.
Well, I got to see a bunch of buddies... and I was super excited when the straight edge kids came in!!!!!!!!!
I love those boys.
The girls and I left early.
I talked to Donald a little bit.

I do not hate Donald.
I do not hate Donald.
I do not hate Donald.

Alexa, Jillian, Cayla and I left early.

And made plans for tomorrow night =).

Tonight I'm going to Alyssia's recital.

Shawn is my best friend.

I can not wait until tomorrow effin night. I'm charging my video camera hahahaha.

Peace out nucca.

PS: Lauryn is my favorite person ever next to Rob Van Winkle.


Jillian.... Theres a miracle here with your name on it.

4 used lips x undo my zipper

[Jun // 12 // 04 @ 12:20am]
I'm reading through my old journals...
These are the things that I miss the most, or quotes from my journals that remind me of them.

Journal 9/29/03
"The person that you think you're the closest with is always the one you trust least in the end."
Journal 9/22/03
"JoeGuy5: They'll have to let you lay on the edge of the stage like Jamie"
Journal 9/20/03
"There goes the friendship that has been waiting to explode since I was eleven."
"I should probably sleep through the entire day and night so that I can be ignorant and not realize what I'm missing."
Journal 9/11/03
"Jess and I then decided to gross out our boyfriends by eating some of our disgusting food combinations for a bit. Then Jason and I performed surgery on Jess while listening to the Smiths."
"I also talked to my lover Josh Morton and played with Boo Boo 2 also known as "That Cat."
Journal 9/7/03
"Carol brought Patrick down. She's adorable. haha anyways Patrick, Dana, and I spent the night at Jess's. Then my pals Jason, Big Cat, and Uncle Derek came to Jess's until 6AM or something."
Journal 8/31/03
"So I finally met the guy that I always end up standing by at Laga. His name is Ian. He has cool hair."
"I felt bad because Chelsea missed seeing Brand New, so I went over and talked to Jesse and Brian for a while... and since I am such a wonderful friend, I had Jesse leave Chelsea a voicemail. I hope she liked it."
Journal 8/22/03
"Sly Caps show. I danced with Jason, Josh, Aaron, Derek... and Derek's Mommy. I took an hour to say goodbye to my boys."
Journal 8/12/03
"The kids shouldn't be out when uncle Derek is around."
"We got to the show early, which was alright since I got to see Rishi. haha. Becky ended up coming... I missed her."
"I like this."
"I like you."
"Is this Bad?"
"Get in the bucket!"
"Lowlife."
"You're sorta ugly."
"Let's not talk about this."




I'm going to be depressed if I keep reading my old journals.
People I miss....
Donald
Jason
Patrick
Derek
Josh
Jimi
Becky
Toni
Seth
AMY
LAURA
Nicole
Ange
STEFF
Kate
Dane
Mark
Maggie
Rob
Rishi and the gang.
Chelsea
Dana
Mason
GEORGE
IAN
Mel
Rocky
Steven


Thats too many people to miss.
15 used lips x undo my zipper

This is it. [Jun // 10 // 04 @ 01:33am]
I am not dealing with this shit from all of you ridiculous, ill educated Waynesburg girls that insist on messaging me. The Derek deal ended a long time ago and there is no need to dig up parts of my past that I've been trying really hard to get over. Mind your own business. I can not wait until you finally realize that there is so much more to your world than picking your favorite guy from your favorite band and trying to call them your own without knowing anything at all about them. You know nothing about any part of their lives outside of the show that you can not bear to miss every Friday night. Your ignorance nauseates me.
6 used lips x undo my zipper

You're getting busy. [Jun // 08 // 04 @ 04:00pm]
[ mood | pensive ]
[ music | Dashboard - Shits and gloves ]

I just downloaded a new livejournal client. This is great. haha... now I never have to use the website that my computer won't let me go to anyway.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dashboard Confessional show in Pittsburgh. Station Square.
My loves and I are getting a bus.
We can only take 16 people.
It's only 10 bucks to go on the bus with us and it's like 25 bucks for a ticket to the show... I think.
PS: Dashboard and Thrice.... Thrice. You know you want to go now.
IM me or something if you want to come.
And I am collecting all of your money a week before the show so you c words can't dick us over.
So far it will be Jillian, Cayla, Lindsey, Alexa, Vicky, Shawn, Court, Aaron.... I don't know who else. But you'd better let me know quick before we ask other people.

Tuesday was Belle Vernon's last day of school, and our last full day of school. So Jillian, Cayla, and I went and picked up Lindsey, Alexa, and Vicky, skipped our first 2 classes, and went to eat n park. I ran into Grandma and Pap. They were super excited to see me with Jillian. It was a good time.

Wednesday was my last day of school. I took my Belle Vernon girls with me. Alex brought the grill to the parking lot. haha. Who in the hell makes burgers at 9AM in the school parking lot? We do. After our half-day of school, everyone came to my house. Zac, Corey, Lindz, V, Alexa, Jillian, Cayla, and the Matts. We ordered subways. Mine was wrong, Corey flipped out and got me another one. haha.

Thursday I went to someones party with my girls. Seth was there, he made me cry. I called mom, and I was okay.
Then Shawn, Lindsey, Cayla, Jillian, Geno, and Alexa went to Eat n Park. It was fun.

I saw Harry Potter at the waterfront on Friday with Jillian and Cayla.
I cried 5 times. hahaha. Either it was sad, or I was the emo queen.
I was really emotional that whole day. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I cried. haha.
Cayla fucked me over, but I forgave her. But some trust is still missing. It will probably be back.
I went to Lindsey's house on Saturday. Vicky, Chaz, Alexa, Corey, Zac, Geno, Aaron, Jillian, Cayla, Laura, Mike, Shawn... They were all there. I saw Shawn naked. Oh my god. hahahahaha. Big. hahahahahaa. Shawn is packing it, I'll tell you that much. After Shawn got naked, everyone started getting naked. haha. It was so funny. I took pictures. Shawn and I need to go get those made at walmart real soon. After Lindseys, I stayed over Jillian's. We made pizza, and then watched Aladdin. At 4:30AM Jillian and I both decided we were going to go to bed in her bedroom and leave Cayla in the living room. In the morning, we went to Lowe's to get paint and to Denny's to eat... In the purple car. hahahhahaha. Oh god. That car is so dirty. We went back to Jillian's so that Cayla could paint lyrics on the walls in her new room. I called Heath around 5:30 to give him directions to Jillians so he could come get me and I could go to Andrew's graduation party and spend the day with my boys. I had a good time. The ride home shook me up a bit, but I'm fine. I can bend and not break... or, I can break and take it with a smile.

Last night I wanted to go over to Lex's to watch movies with my boys... but I couldn't because Linda was being a mom instead of a friend. Alexa, Lindsey and Corey came over at 9 because they knew I was going crazy from being home for once. haha. We did nothing. I just brought out Derek and Jeff's boxes and showed the girls stuff. It was alright. Derek is supposed to be home this week or so I've heard?? I don't know. I'd like to see him though. I miss him like whoa. I think I'm going to Long Island soon. I need to. I need a trip to New York for no reason at all. I haven't been there in a while. I miss the city. I'd like to see Chris Jackson, but I doubt that will happen. Oh well. I'm going to call my uncle and tell him to take me to New York... first I gotta see when theres a good show that I want to go to, then I'll decide when I'm going. I am missing out on a trip to California. Mom is going. She'll be there for the gay parade too. You all have no idea how fun it is to be in San Francisco when the gay parade is going on. It's a blast. I wish I could go with her. Next year. Kodak eats the big one. My camera is broken, again. This is the 4th time this year. I hate kodak. The next camera I buy will be a Canon, and it will be soon.


I got light up sandals. haha. They are so pimp.

I talked to Lauryn last night. hahahahaha. It was a HILARIOUS conversation. I love her.





Kiss me hard, cause this will be the last time that I let you.
You will be back some day and this awkward kiss that screams of other peoples lips will be of service to giving you away.
I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers. I'll be alright when my hands get warm. Ignoring the phone, I'd rather say nothing.
I'd rather you never heard my voice. You're calling too late... too late to be gracious.


I have headphones on. My parents keep talking to me. I am not answering.

1 used lips x undo my zipper

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